I’m Totally Stealing This Post Idea on First Date Tips

But not without giving a shout out to Michael Somerville – awesome comedian who wrote First Date Tips « What Me(n) Think on his blog. I not only laughed when I was reading it, I also learned a lot and now feel the need to give this woman’s perspective.

The first step in having a successful first date is to ask us out on a date. I know, I am either preaching to the choir or beating a dead horse. But it’s something so simple that will mean a lot to us later on.

How much women prepare for a date may or may not indicate how into you we are. Half the time we are dressing for other women just to keep up with Miss Jones. Sometimes we are making an effort specifically for you. And sometimes you get a girl like my friend who is so damn comfortable in her own skin that she just doesn’t care and WYSIWYG even if it’s an old college t shirt, ripped jeans and crocs.* Girlfriend has more men after her and I have never heard any of them complain about her not shaving.

If we care about your horoscope then it does indicate where the date or relationship might lead – crazy town. Ditto for belief in fortune cookies, unless it has the winning lotto numbers.

Don’t Google us before the date, that’s creepy. Even if you remember what we’ve told you versus our stint as professional football cheerleader, we can tell you’ve done it and there’s something you’re dying to ask about. It’s the same instinct we use once we have kids to know when they are up to no good.

We don’t care if we’re taller than you are as long as you aren’t running around with a Napoleon complex. It’s not about height, it’s about being made to feel like a woman. And if you’re acting like a short asshole (or a tall asshole) we’re going to assume you’re trying to make up for other physical limitations and will also care about other “issues”.

Although we love it when a man has a plan – if the plan is to walk 40 blocks and you see that we’re in heels please change the plan.

If you mention a body part more than once we might compliment you on it. But we’re rolling our eyes on the inside and we will bring it up to our friends later on when we dissect the date.

If you don’t want us to do all the talking respond with more than a yes or no to our questions. If you’re talking too much you’ll never know. Women invented the zone out – we’re thinking about that gorgeous handbag we saw at Saks or the hot guy two bar stools over and we can still seem to be completely engaged with what you’re saying. We’re just not dumb enough to make it obvious.

If we are extrapolating on our issues, especially of the gastro kind, see my answer on believing in astrology or we are desperately trying to not have you ask for a second date.

Saying thank you for the date is just polite and should happen at the end of the evening whether we want a second date or not. This person took the time (and possibly money) to see if there was any chemistry. If we initiate a thank you text then you will definitely get a yes for a second date.

*Sometimes this is what we wear to impress.